Greetings From ... Crit

Today we had a feedback session showing the work we had done so far on our postcards. This was really useful as I wanted some feedback on how effective my designs were. The designs I was most happy with got the best feedback from the group. The Aberdeen sneaker and the Tokyo sneaker received the most positive feedback although There were still some suggestions for improvement. Following the feedback I am going to create a more stripped down version of the Tokyo sneaker experimenting by simplifying various elements like the bowl of ramen. The feedback also suggested that colour palette was very important so I would like to try and balance the images with a more considered colour composition. The Tokyo sneakers colour divided opinion in the group as it is bold with a lot of colours which could be simplified further but it was thought by some members of the group that the bold variety of colours represented the city well. I will make another version of the shoe with a simple colour scheme to see if it maintains the the same representation of Tokyo. For the final sneaker design I am going to push the form of the shoe further to see how far it is possible to go without making the overall structure too confusing. The cherry blossom tree on the Tokyo sneaker received good feedback and is one of the most 'out there' elements of any of my designs so far.

I have made some changes to the Honolulu sneaker.

This is my original design. It is the design I felt was least effective before the crit and the feedback helped me to identify the areas that needed to be altered or replaced. The sole is too solid and does not interact with the rest of the shoe stopping it from linking elements together to make a solid form.

The colours need to be changed as they seem to be in very distinct sections like the fighter plane front of the shoe, brown woven leaf middle and black mynah bird at the back of the shoe. The birds head seems to be separated from the rest of the shoe and the perspective of the birds legs confuses the composition. I think the bird needs to be shaped more carefully moving away from perfect geometric shapes. I have changed to colours of the woven leaves to green which is the colour they would traditional be and links the side of the shoe with the leaf used as the laces without the two elements becoming blurred together. I have changed the nose of the plane to yellow to balance with colouring of the bird on the heal and changed the colour of the berrys to red to match the planes mouth.

I reshaped the sole and added another blue tone to make it more fluid and interact with the rest of the shoe.

I think the shape of the fighter plane nose needs to be worked on more and I need to find a way to link it to the middle of the shoe in a way that brings the two sections together. At the moment the sharp line between the two seems to be preventing the shape of the shoe from functioning as a solid form. I have added a fishing hook to the fighter planes mouth to represent the significance of fishing to Honolulu. I like the way the fishing line weaves through the leaves but think the twists need to be less aggressive and the line needs to have more variation and not be a perfect thickness all the way along. the feathers on the bird resemble the shape of the back of a nike Yeezy trainer. I am much gappier with the colour of the berrys and shape of the back of the shoe with the curved beak forming the shoes cuff. more work to do but I feel like I'm making progress with this design.